Veröffentlicht am 2015-04-27 19:22:11 in /int/

/int/ 28498729: help me not to starve to death

umurgdk Avatar

Okay /int/, I'm in a very strange situation. Long story short - I'm locked out from my money, which I have on my online account on one electronic payment service. I think I'll be able to access my money on next Monday, but until then 382.60 rubles is all I have. I cannot borrow money form anyone.
This morning I bought 10 eggs, kilo of buckwheat, 12 sausages, half of bread, 1l milk - spent 426 rubles on this. I also have some pasta, and some oatmeal. And a bottle of wine. And that's it - I have no more food at all.
Buckwheat will probably last till the end of the week, but everything else will be gone by Wednesday for sure.

Can anyone suggest cheap, nutritious and not disgusting food? I'm especially interested in something meaty.

vaughanmoffitt Avatar


sindresorhus Avatar

I ate less than 1000kcal since saturday, drank two beers and am now drunk as fuck

t. yolopolo

ffbel Avatar


kennyadr Avatar

I know right. And today I was lucky to get these 12 sausages half price for only 100rub.

vicivadeline Avatar

pls help

jrxmember Avatar

Eat once s day small decent means don't eat in the morning if you work don't eat until you get home eat at dinner sleep repeat

turkutuuli Avatar

Don't you have friends to help you?

snowshade Avatar

Food 1: Spinach soup and bread. Delicious and cheap.

Food 2: Rice, tomato sauce, beans. Delicious and cheap.

Food 3: Pasta, tomato sauce, canned tuna. Delicious and cheap. Add cheese if you get for cheap.

Eat one meal a day, if you get hungry after that, buy & eat porridge as extra.

gojeanyn Avatar

go dumpster diving if it's a thing in rushka.

ademilter Avatar

I work from home
Yes. No. Social anxiety intensify.

'ehm, hello this is Bernd, don't want to bother you but can you please feed me, because I'm starving?'

naupintos Avatar

Go dumpster diving. In case you get molested by OMON or Chechen mafia just tell them this is the newest craze in the West - oh, wait - maybe you should tell them you do it so than no food is wasted in order to hurt the evil West and its sanctions.

dmackerman Avatar

Слышь у меня есть 150 рэ на яндекс деньгах кинь номер я те скину

wahidanggara Avatar

This is one option. Here is a guide of finnish guy dumpster diving his food from a german grocery chain:

dwardt Avatar

Are there food banks in Russia, or is that only in the decadent west?

leandrovaranda Avatar

>Marko Repairs

_vojto Avatar

Uh, how can you eat so much for all to be gone by Wednesday?
Pasta should last at least 2 days. 12 sausages can last 3 days (2 by lunch, 2 by dinner). A fucking kilo of buckwheat should last 3 to 4 days. 10 eggs should last 4 days (2 per day). Oatmeal should last 2 to 8 days depending on how much do you have.
That's already more food than you need to "not starve to death" till Monday.

The fuck, nigga?

sokaniwaal Avatar

>finnish guy
everyone here knows marko repairs.

bruno_mart Avatar

Если ты из ДС я могу тебе притаранить жрачки.

safrankov Avatar

Try into freeganism or go to work.

chatyrko Avatar

eggs are more nutritious then meat.

marshallchen_ Avatar

Buy potatoes and spaghetti. They are cheap and give you lots of energy.

likewings Avatar

>sanctions don't work

joshjoshmatson Avatar

Botatos are life. They are godly with a bit of salt and chives or parsly and such. OP you should look for a herb garden to plunder. And can't you go into woods to pick mushrooms and berries? You are Russian after all.

kimcool Avatar

also meaty food? suck some dick, rooster :DDDDDD

trueblood_33 Avatar

You could subsist on potatoes, butter and eggs and milk for ages.

arashmanteghi Avatar

forgot pic

michigangraham Avatar

> Can anyone suggest cheap, nutritious and not disgusting food? I'm especially interested in something meaty.
Just drink water against the pain in your stomach and sleep more.

leelkennedy Avatar

Pick a shitload of dandelion leaves and wilt them in a pot, dandelion leaves are extremely good for you

soyeljuaco Avatar

This. Cut potatoes in half, sprinkle some oil, grounded black pepper and salt and put them into oven until they get some colour on top. This recipe is really hard to screw up and they are tasty enough to eat them without side dishes for a whole day or maybe two if you have to.

marshallchen_ Avatar

Buy some flour, minced meat (фарш), throw in your eggs and get some CHEBUREKI.

mefahad Avatar

It would be easier to make home made pasta using that flour and make makarony po flotski.

freddetastic Avatar

Buy instant noodles. It's shit but it will keep you alive long enough until you have enough money again. I lived off it for a month once, mixing egg with the soup made it tastier.

guischmitt Avatar

There might not be dandelions yet if he lives north enough. At least only few first plants have started to grow in Finland by now.

ultragex Avatar

Thank you, but I don't want to deanon myself. And situation is not that critical yet. I still have some food and I think 382 rubles is just enough to make it till the end of the week.
DC-2. Saint-Petersburg.
I'm sorry but I cannot live like this.
There is not much pasta left. For 1, maybe 2 more meals. I need like 6 sausages a day - 2 at breakfast, 2 lunch and 2 at dinner. And I eat like 2 eggs a day.
Yeah, buckwheat should last long, but I cannot eat only it. And there is really not much oatmeal left.

kiwiupover Avatar

These things are pretty nice when it comes to kJ/Euro, but you already got buckwheat.
Go for lentils next.

tusharvikky Avatar

>DC-2. Saint-Petersburg.
You may buy prosrochka. It's much cheaper than ordinary food.

franciscoamk Avatar

Go to the forest and pick up mushrooms and for the meaty part, worms are pretty noice.

wiljanslofstra Avatar

Russia, listen to me. You have to come up with a trade of some kind, make things that you can barter for food. I suggest tiny statues of kot, since this is a cult item dating back from times of old. But to this you need access to some material like wood. Do you think you can get something like this? Then you will need tools to make the kot.

Very important is that the kot statue is as cute as possible, but in a Russian way because every culture is a little different. Go to farmer's market and then try to trade the kot for bags of flour or things for making bread or maybe some lentils.

Also you should follow the highly successful artistic pattern of making the kot's nose oversized like in this highly successful self-painted picture by a German starving artist. He successfully traded this for three loaves of bread and a whole smoked trout.

agromov Avatar

Learn to shoplift.

Or dine'n'dash.

gojeanyn Avatar

Why not capture and eat children and/or the homeless?

illyzoren Avatar

You can survive up to two months without food.

erikdkennedy Avatar

it's not because of sanctions. But because of fucking postal service. They lost my card which was sent to me, and I cannot buy food using online wallet.
Okay. Potato is life, Potato is love. Will buy potato.
Hmm, maybe I'll have to buy some.

adriancogliano Avatar


This looks like something Hitler would have painted.

craighenneberry Avatar

Find the nearest sikh temple and ask for food

>Langar (Punjabi: ਲੰਗਰ, Hindi: लंगर) is the term used in the Sikh religion or in Punjab in general for common kitchen/canteen where food is served in a Gurdwara to all the visitors (without distinction of background) for free. At the langar, only vegetarian food is served, to ensure that all people, regardless of their dietary restrictions, can eat as equals. At the Langar (Kitchen), food is served to all visitors regardless of faith, religion or background

tmstrada Avatar

>something meaty

shalt0ni Avatar

>bottle of wine
Скажи, ты ебанутый? Купи крупы какой-нибудь, рис, горох, что-то в этом роде.

breehype Avatar

No more this

Look at this plump fucker

i3tef Avatar

>only vegetarian food is served
Where's the meat.

joshkennedy Avatar

Urtica grows everywhere and can be cooked like spinach. Currently it should be very nice as there are many fresh plants around that don't sting yet.

m4rio Avatar

I had this wine before I realized that I cannot access my money.
I'm a bad hunter. And I don't even have any weapon to hunt them.
I only need to last a week. I don't want to ruin my life because of it.
I think it's too early to mushrooms and berries - it's only April. And still, I don't have time - I still have to work.

kershmallow Avatar

That feel when it takes at least half a month more before you can start harvesting nettles here ;______;

bergmartin Avatar

Cum. Has anybody suggested that yet? You should eat cum.

karsh Avatar

Check online for wedding parties and such around your place and invite yourself. If you sneak in the later hours being dressed fancy nobody will be able to tell if you are from the brides or grooms family. Also people will be drunk so it should be easy to fool them into thinking you are one of them.

yassiryahya Avatar

It's very easy to hunt pigeons. First you drink your bottle of wine so you're not ashamed. Then you throw a little of your buckwheat to lure them in and finally bonk them in the head with your empty bottle when they come close.

vicivadeline Avatar

go to mcbydlos and order off of the dollar menu (or russian equivalent) it's enough calories to keep you alive and fatty enough to give you fullness

christauziet Avatar

>I'm a bad hunter. And I don't even have any weapon to hunt them.
All you need is one show or that empty wine bottle of yours to kill a pigeon. If you decide to go for it for some reason, just google up how to prepare a chicken. Also do it at evening just before the sun sets and the pigeons fly away to sleep in their nests at some park and look for a moment when there are no people nearby.

alv Avatar

OP could dine like a German ascetic, cooked potatos, one cooked egg (eggs are also ridiculously cheap compared to their nutritional value) and nettle-spinach.

carlyson Avatar

>All you need is one shoe...

dmackerman Avatar

do you have an account at a western bank?

dpg Avatar

forgot pic again

kuldarkalvik Avatar

egg cooked into ramen noodles stir fry style

Potato wrapped in foil with salt and water and spices cooked in oven or fire till soft

Shoot one of God's creatures with a .22, doesn't matter which one, remove feathers/fur/scales cook in a pot with a cut up potato

Crawdads boiled with ear of corn and potato

T. Poor redneck

smaczny Avatar

the all time bachelor's favourite - pasta with cottage cheese

add broccoli (very cheap) for ebin nutritious meal

strikewan Avatar


Also, this is why you keep cash with you at all times.

joe_black Avatar

No, I have account on QIWI Wallet, and fuckers in postal service for some reason decided that it's a good idea to return a letter with my debit card back to QIWI head office in Moscow. So I have my money on my online account but I cannot access them in real life because no card.

freddetastic Avatar

Also why do you not have a stash of survival food?

marrimo Avatar

Because he is not some apocalyptic american hillbilly nut?

bouyghajden Avatar

But the president is a nigger, shows that all kinds of crazy shit no one would predict will happen.

I don't mind sharing, but it annoys me when there isn't enough to go around because other people aren't planners.

If Russia had an emergency freeze dried potato stash this wouldn't have happened to him.

Same thing if he had a gun, then he could just go hunt something.

Why do you insult me for being a hillbilly, I'm not the one going hungry.

katiemdaly Avatar

he has a point

I was actually considering make a stash of canned beef stew at my dacha (because dacha is the best place to hide from all the habbeings)

just in case if shit will really hit the fan(considering the situation in Ukraine)

sokaniwaal Avatar

When shit really hits the fan the rally point for whites is Israel.

danro Avatar

But if he had a food stash he wouldn't have a problem now.

chatyrko Avatar

Rice and potatoes my friend.

kylefrost Avatar

>Why do you insult me for being a hillbilly

Among Germans being prepared is seen as a positive trait in general. He's probably a foreigner. Most likely an anti-American muslim of some kind. It's safe to ignore him.

degandhi024 Avatar

buy buckwheat or oats instead of bread

also frozen fish is propably cheap if you want something else than eggs and buckwheat

is tvorog cheap?

iamglimy Avatar

oh and also you can do a meal from potatoes by boiling them in milk-water stuff and add spices

n_tassone Avatar

shut the fuck up retard. you cant know what happens so best to have food for couple weeks atleast

ultragex Avatar


Alright, hillbilly tier confirmed.
>But I was only pretending to be retarded

carloscrvntsg Avatar

Yeah, because the race wars are just about to start, right?

anhskohbo Avatar


i have two sacks of emergency potatos, 50 cans of cat-food and some tins.

i3tef Avatar


It's happpening twice a year according to you psychopaths.

strikewan Avatar

>12 sausages
You deserve starvation. You don't think about survival at all.

starburst1977 Avatar

Will you eat the cat food yourself?

xspirits Avatar

go to market around closing times
ask babushkas to give you spare stuff they cannot sell ( most likely will ) or just give them some small change
t. do this often, fridge full of vegetables

falvarad Avatar

Only the kind that you get under your foreskin.

jonkspr Avatar

bless this post

garand Avatar


Don't you have city parks with ducks and other shits in Russia?
You don't have to hunt them because they are used to be fed by humans.

ovall Avatar

I once went like 2 month only living mostly on cheap choclate bars and cheap bread. Was a horrible time. Ever since I'm keeping a 10kg bag of rice some canned meat and other canned foods at home for such situations. Next time you have money buy some food for emergencies.

vocino Avatar

This, you can take out a börd easily with a rock. or a stick if youre fast

They usually have worms and shit so look for that when you open the bird

javorszky Avatar

How can I help you, Bernd?
Wanna help

axel_gillino Avatar

A chicken, potato, carrot, onions, rice. Make a soup from legs and scraps of the chicken. Chicken filet from breasts and some roasted chicken wings from the rest. Get enough food to last you for days.

chrisvanderkooi Avatar

Would you rather be deanonimized or die from hunger?

dmackerman Avatar

A pot of chicken soup like this alone usually lasts me till Wednesday. Since I am too lazy to cook every day, so I make a pot on a Sunday for the next work week.

jqueryalmeida Avatar

I haven't eaten anything for a month because of smoking once or twice in my life. Totally kills the appetite. Strongly advise. Cigarettes and some coffee. Bretty goed.

ryanmclaughlin Avatar

Forever, just keep it dry

oanacr Avatar

>these europoors don't have food stamps and food banks

should I send some American semen down the pipeline to hold you over?

andyisonline Avatar

> Ever since I'm keeping a 10kg bag of rice
Does anyone know how long I can keep rice in storage before it will go bad?
Like if I buy a few 20kg bags.
Oh and can you live on rice alone or what do you need additionally to not suffer from vitamin deficit.

fatihturan Avatar

In extreme cases you can get vitamin C for example from spruces by making it into tea

ninjad3m0 Avatar

>But because of fucking postal service. They lost my card which was sent to me, and I cannot buy food using online wallet
What the fug, it takes week to get a new card? Really? My bank is saying they will get a temp replacement card for me in any place of the world within a day.

id835559 Avatar

> replacement card for me in any place of the world within a day
Impossible in Russia.

smenov Avatar

Forever if you keep it dry, the older it gets to longer it takes to cook.

Same with beans.

Lentils are the best because they don't take longer to cook when decades old.

BillSKenney Avatar

no, it's for the cat.

can't let the poor thing starve

ajaxy_ru Avatar

The last bag lasted me for like a year and the rice didn't go bad. White rice can be stored for years. Dunno about vitamin c. You could get some cheap supplements I guess.

danro Avatar

he's just joking, with 12 egg and 3 loaf of bread i'm may live a 5 days, also need sugar and tea.
Use some grenka

saarabpreet Avatar


This is a good plan.
Gonna drink some Krombacher now.

vigobronx Avatar

Found this:
So no A and C mostly.

fritzronel Avatar

Time for fasting motherfucker, the less you eat, the less money dependent you are.
Kill the gluttonous jew inside yourself.

vickyshits Avatar

You obviously can't live alone on rice. That's why you need to buy some canned stuff and mix it with the rice for your meals.

shesgared Avatar

Assuming our prices are anywhere near similar, for 21 Reais I could:

Buy 1 kilo of minced beef for 8 bucks
Buy 4 kilos of potatoes 8 bucks
Buy 1 packet of stock cubes for 2 bucks.

That'll last you nearly two weeks if you're not a glutton.

jehnglynn Avatar

If you want stuff that does not go bad for a while and has plenty of vitamin C buy some Sauerkraut.

xspirits Avatar

how much do you weigh?

if you're over 80kg, then you can survive without food for a week

if you're american sized at 100kg, then you can survive without food for a month

arashmanteghi Avatar

I wait for my card for almost a month already. And the funniest thing is that last week it was running from one postal office to another in my area all in 20 minutes reach. And now it's heading back to Moscow.
Shit is fucked up.

And I called them many times, saying can you please hold on my letter so I can pick it up. But they were transferring somewhere else before I was able to do it. And all they were answering "sorry but the procedure doesn't allow us to hold on to letters"

Because of this mistake I have to starve.

rohan30993 Avatar

> A week
> A month
That's ridiculous, people go on hunger strikes for longer.

You get the first serious signs of starvation around 30+ days and death occurs at 45+ days.

Neuste Fäden in diesem Brett: