Veröffentlicht am 2018-03-13 20:26:34 in /int/

/int/ 44270927: I often dream of my army days. Dreams are hardly ever v...

saulihirvi Avatar

I often dream of my army days. Dreams are hardly ever violent though except the one when I have to face the enemy I felt so scared I was paralyzed. I made some mistakes and my gaming self wanted to reload a savegame but the real (dreaming) self knew I couldn't so I was fucked. That is not the most pleasant sensation - a desperate state of the one about to be killed.
Yet mostly I dream of army routine which 95% of my war really was. Forever on the lookout, forever bored. And once I was riding on an APC and filling paperwork. Yep, filling some paperwork to join the army again that for some stupid bureaucratic reason was of paramount importance. Seeing blurred faces of people I can't remember and people I'd rather never meet again, and finding comfort it in - you see, if we know one other and we might hate one other, nonetheless I rely on them as they rely on me since in the end we all want the same thing - to survive and come back home.
I miss a few army buddies and I don't want to meet any since it's like meeting a classmate - you have nothing common but memories and most memories are not pretty at all. You must be a masochist to feed on it. Of course when I'm alone I romanticize all the shit I've had and that even make believe it was some glorified Band of Brothers movie experience.
I never talk about it anymore bit I want to talk about so I talk to you, Bernd. Perhaps you have been there, you know the feel and you can be-yourself me out of it.

maiklam Avatar

Glory to Ukraine

you're lucky to have made it

bighanddesign Avatar

>I miss a few army buddies and I don't want to meet any since it's like meeting a classmate - you have nothing common but memories and most memories are not pretty at all.

I have no experience with being a soldier or suffering on the Ukraine, but this hit me hard. Have you ever considered writing a memoir? I think a lot of Europeans and Americans would be interested in reading it.

davidtoltesy Avatar

at my regiment 3 people hanged themselves and 2 slit wrists. dumb idiots

peterlandt Avatar

I can't really write well. Many vets have written books and sicne they are no Hemingways most are shit style-wise even though the content might be interesting.

I want to live to see a book about it in 10-15 years. So they can speak their minds without political self-censure.

carlosgavina Avatar

I've heard good things about this one. Thoughts?

is suicide common among russian soldiers/vets?

alagoon Avatar


safrankov Avatar

I remember several of your threads. You're too good of a poster for this place.

I hope someday to be on the same side of barricades with you

joshjoshmatson Avatar

i don't know about nowadays at all. it was in 2009 and it's not even bad year. before that it was total shit hell. depends on a place

chrstnerode Avatar

You are a great person, Bernd.
I am a coward who didn't join army at the time despite wanting to. I hope you are doing well nowadays.

enjoythetau Avatar

The author is Russian and I suppose the book is about his Chechen was expereince. I have never read it though I sometimes read his Facebook shtiposting.

I have my Facebook shitposting of my own and I stopped it right after I came back, good God.

joshhemsley Avatar

I thought the -enko ending was ukrainian

joemdesign Avatar

What year did you serve as a conscript? Was there dedovshina? Was it difficult physically?

ggavrilo Avatar

shit person. also tried t oread the book. why westerners only read "russian army is shit" books. nobody on the west read prilepins book bout chechnya

garethbjenkins Avatar

I really envy you op, I got permanently disqualified from the army for failing a hearing test when I tried to join and have been bitter about it ever since. Good luck.

emileboudeling Avatar

No dedovshina at all.
That was not a regular consctription, I was drafted in 2015 during the last wave of 'mobilization'. Ironically, I'm of the last draftees sent to war. For now.

garand Avatar

Didn't they only mobilize those who already served in the army? Are you saying that you were mobilized straight into ATO without prior mandatory service?

mylesb Avatar

No, they used to mobilize whoever thay can the their hands on. I've never served before July 2015. I was not a exception. It was common. I thought all Ukrainians know that.

a_khadeko Avatar

glory to ukraine!